Hey Mom, i'm writing all this down. Just like you wanted.
i feel like an experiment. i have to remember every little thing that's ever happened or been said since dad left. How sad.
So last night i met him to get Sierra's birthday present and he wanted to sit down and have coffee. We did. He was in waaaay too much of a good mood. i felt so... like this man was not who i remembered. Worse than i remembered. i thought the dad i knew was bad....... He doesn't even like me, he just wanted try and get SOMEONE on his side. i'm not on his side. And there were a few things that made me realize just how insane he really is:
#1: He started painting recently. My dad used to chastise me for being artistic. He hated the way i dressed, never appreciated my drawings, made me "conform" to social norms. Absolutely would not let me major in art or music in college. So now he's painting...
#2: And his most recent painting he did for Amy Wolaver Jetter, (yeah i'm droppin' names) his "friend". AND IT'S NOT EVEN GOOD.
#3: He mentioned a million times just how much Mom was poisoning us against him BLA BLA and how she is being passively aggressive. OKAY DAD SURE. Mom busts her ass teaching Sierra and Andrew and is actually sticking around to see them through their lives. You didn't even stick around long enough to see Andrew reach high school. And what's sad about that is you might still be around, but he'll never love you like a dad again.
#4: He got pissed because Mom is taking all of us to eat at a nice-ish restaurant for Sierra's birthday and he wasn't invited. Are you kidding me? Of course you weren't invited! You are OBLIGATED to pay for us to do stuff like this, considering the fact that you chose to bear, keep, and raise us kids. It's her freaking birthday so get over yourself and let her have a hint of normalcy considering you stripped all of that from her, too.
#5: Also, he made a veiled stab at my weight. Talking about how he's lost weight because he's not eating all the "crap" that's laying around the house. OH OKAY so normal food is crap? i bet he has tuna, beer and his girlfriend for every meal. Then he said "Your mom doesn't realize by cooking all that stuff she's compromising her children's health, yours especially." ............Check me if normal fathers say that to their daughters.
#6: He thinks he can tell me that he "insists i get a bachelor's degree". Really? Hahahahahahahahaha! i'm going into ministry, to fulfill my calling from the Lord. To pursue the Great Comission and follow in Jesus' footsteps. And you're going to tell me that's wrong? And that i'm being senseless not going back to college? How dare you. How dare you think that you can tell me what to do. You refuse to help me do what i want and need to do for the Kingdom and you think you can tell me how to spend my life and my money? HOW freaking dare you.
So my conclusion is: my dad is mental. He's acting like a sex-addicted 15 year-old boy, giddy about his new girlfriend but oblivious to the fact that he's ruining everything about himself, including the people he "loved." i was at a point where i would look at dad and pray for him and pity him because it's not him but the enemy working here. But now... i'm at the point where i don't even want to call him dad anymore. See DAD? THIS IS WHY Zack "flipped" on you, as you call it. Because you're like poison. You're selfish. You're sick. You make me sick. You use me. You act like you care just to get information and to unload because you have no one else.
You're missing out on our lives. You didn't care about us kids enough to NOT have a million affairs and stick around at least until we were old enough to not have it ruin our lives. You have no idea the repercussions of what you've done. You have no idea.
Please don't come to my wedding.
