Sometimes I just look at people and think... do you have any idea what is going on? Seriously? Don't invite me somewhere, act like you want me there, then flirt your silly little head off with other girls the whole time. Please and thanks.
OH AND ALSO, guys, if the only people who comment on your wall, status updates, pictures, ect. are girls, then you're a flirt. If the majority of your friends are girls, and the only people who talk to you at school are girls, you're a flirt.Every man in my life is gone. My older brothers are gone. My dad is gone. Andy is gone. And the sad thing is, i can't talk to anyone about it because they'll say "Well God is still a man in your life". But for the first time in a long time, i'm having trouble seeing where in my life He is exactly.
i feel overwhelmed. That's the only word i can think to use. i understand most people deal with siblings moving away and parents getting divorced. That happens regularly in today's society. But on top of my two brothers leaving, my biological dad, who never acted like he even liked me before now, is gone, but using me to keep contact with the family. Andy barely even looks at me anymore. i haven't read my Bible in days. i can't do 24/7 in August, i have to wait until January because i have to buy my own car. And whenever i do start 24/7 i have to have enough money to live on, by myself, for the duration of the internship.
i just... feel like i'm having to grow up too fast. i don't feel peace or freedom or relief. i'm anxious and sad and worried about finances. i don't know where i'm going or where i am. i'm walking down a road and i have no idea where it leads. My future isn't set in stone, and i'm scared of the change that's bound to happen.
What happened to me that i became this way? i cuss and don't want to be around the people i love. i feel sick all the time and spend my free-time... waiting. i feel watered-down and dirty.
